The Responsible Synthesist

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zukskywalker
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The Responsible Synthesist

Post by zukskywalker » Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:42 pm

Perhaps this might evolve into something worthwhile, maybe turn into a sticky or even a bible of sorts, but the thought came to me while taking a job as a "multi-keyboardist" and battled with the responsibilities and lofty expectations that I came across.
So, just what might a "responsible synthesist" be?

I'll start with:

Must be able to accurately synthesize any naturally occurring sound.

Or how about:

Does not locate synths in the basement beneath the bathroom pipes.

Or maybe:

Never forgets his/her power supplies when packing up for a gig(I cannot begin to describe how bad that one hurt).

Something like this "job" description might prove useful to those of us that are all caught up in the madness of synths.

Anybody?

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by michael stein » Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:09 pm

does not: eat greasy pizza and forget to wash his hands before playing his synths again.

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by ford442 » Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:33 pm

one shall never place thy ms2000r to engage in congress with thine fr-777 lest the korg's sharp metal edges will lay waste to the 777's wood paneling...
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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by rhino » Fri Jun 12, 2009 10:45 pm

does: do his/her homework and research BEFORE buying a synth.

does not: buy a $2500 board to play three chord clav lines.

does: knows when to draw the line and take his equipment to a professional repair tech rather than bollix it up himself.

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by futureworlder » Fri Jun 12, 2009 11:33 pm

does not toss an otherwise perfectly good synth* in the trash when it becomes inoperable.


*this should also hold true for *any* electronic device as the innards are ridonkulously toxic.
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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by Gianni » Fri Jun 12, 2009 11:44 pm

Fun topic!

On topic:
-is able to listen to a song of a completely different style than his and enjoy a patch while being able to analyze it and copy it if wanted.
-Knows that "analog is the best and only analog can do cool stuff" is not true! Just see Jexus's vids.
-Knows he has to keep his synthesizers clean and looking nice in the studio.
-Is basically a complete geek about synthesizers and can talk for hours about synths, sound design and how close an AN1X sounds to the "real thing".
-Understands this words: thin, phat, organic, warm, cold, glassy, sharp, etc.

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by Electroluver » Sat Jun 13, 2009 12:12 am

Does: Has a can of contact cleaner under the sink. Keeps their synths sitting horizontal when not in use. Understands the subtle nuances of turning the resonance ever so slightly during MIDI playback.

Doesn't: Gets so angry, that one seems to be living out the "office space," scene of beating your equipment to death when it doesn't work (guilty #-o ) Plays arpeggio sequenced chords.

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by cornutt » Sat Jun 13, 2009 12:20 am

You must swear an oath to use your synthy powers only for good, never for evil. For example, you must never, say, use your Juno-106 to imitate the ring tone of your neighbor's cordless phone, thereby driving him crazy because he can never seem to get to the phone in time. Not that I've ever done any such thing. Just sayin'.
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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by Alex E » Sat Jun 13, 2009 12:34 am

cornutt wrote:You must swear an oath to use your synthy powers only for good, never for evil. For example, you must never, say, use your Juno-106 to imitate the ring tone of your neighbor's cordless phone, thereby driving him crazy because he can never seem to get to the phone in time. Not that I've ever done any such thing. Just sayin'.
I did something like that with a CS01, but I made it sound just like a smoke detector.
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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by RobotHeroes » Sat Jun 13, 2009 12:40 am

...
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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by zukskywalker » Sat Jun 13, 2009 3:13 am

Understands FM synthesis and knows who Chowning, Massey, and Tomita are.

If into sampling knows Nyquist.

Examines AC power on location. Does not use circuits with fluorescent lighting or heavy machinery on them.

Uses only rock solid stands when performing. (I've seen stands and piles collapse in live performance)

Embraces and loves VST's.

Understands Hammond registrations.

Has accurate monitoring.

NEVER EVER PITCH BENDS SYNTHED ACOUSTIC PIANO OR HAMMOND!

Preserves and cares for his/her own ears as well as those of other's (Thou shalt do no harm)

Knows his/her limitations (No I can't play bass, brass, strings, hook samples and keys all at the same time).

Here's a biggie: Knows and can accurately reproduce on demand ALL synth cliche's. (Quick: just do the synth hook in Kool and the Gang's Summer Madness- just four notes-you have thirty seconds. Now, add something to just the concept.)

What are the common synth cliche's?
(Lucky Man, Chameleon, Frankenstein, etc.,etc., ad infinitum)

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by tom Cadillac » Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:28 am

Use your tools wisely knowing you are in the vanguard of music evolution. (!)
"On the following day , the sorcery undespairingly continued: I changed my series, chose other sequences, cut other lengths, spliced different progressions, and hoped afresh for a miracle in sound." (Stockhausen)

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by Automatic Gainsay » Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:37 am

"Must be able to accurately synthesize any naturally occurring sound."

What?
Wow.
I guess it is further proof that "synthesize" has truly lost its original meaning, as well as proof that the original intent of synthesizers has been completely lost.

Oh, well.
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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by blitzdj86 » Sat Jun 13, 2009 1:19 pm

'responsible' synthesist?

A responsible synthesist does not synthesise biological or chemical weapons of mass destruction?

A responsible synthesist runs his synthesisers on solar power?

A responsible synthesist does not synthesise highly resonant brown notes?

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Re: The Responsible Synthesist

Post by TrondC » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:29 pm

The responsible synthdude/babe (sorry, but I doubt many, if any at all here qualifies as a Synthesist) keeps the following things in mind during a live performance:


-takes his or her gear off stage and away from drunkards on the dancefloor and safely places them in a storage-room of the venue asap after the performance.

-kindly tells the drunk guy who keeps asking you to play some creedence "no"

-also kindly tells the drunk guy who insists on "helping you" by turning knobs during a live show "no"

-does NOT place his/her glass of beer/drink on the same surface as the gear.

-should ALWAYS attempt to limit the amount of playback during a show. after all, we DO want people to think we are doing more than pressing play on a sequencer no?

bah

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