Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

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Mr Knesh
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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by Mr Knesh » Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:25 am

gtivr6fan wrote:
balma wrote: you better do not get fun of that affirmation on futureproducers dot com, you'll get banned.
Huh?
I think he was trying to say "Dont make fun of the triton at futureproducers.com, or you will be slapped with the ban hammer."
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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by cornutt » Thu Jul 30, 2009 4:09 am

Do not make fun of Happy Lucky Triton!
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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by Black Tomorrow » Thu Jul 30, 2009 8:22 am

Yeah, how did the Triton end up getting a reputation as the end-all-be-all synth? Wierd... :?
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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by mama. » Thu Jul 30, 2009 6:19 pm

tekkentool wrote:i don't know if this counts as it's not about a synth directly but whatever.

i had taken my microkorg into school to record some material in the studio there, the other students there in the music department seemed to like it, because it looked small and cute, but didn't sound it. there was this on chick there, an ugly as drummer, who asked what all the funny green and white words we're for, i told her "it's for programming it, on synthesizers you make the sounds rather than just play them" oversimplifying everything for her, to which she replied "so you understand all this"


"yes"

"you're stupid"
yes! hahahha wow! its especially that machine, i know more than a few people who have it and its pretty much frowned upon by all to know anything about the words or programming it. which drives me insane because its so basic, if you dont understand the microKORG you're pretty much hopeless synthwise.

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by gtivr6fan » Sat Aug 01, 2009 9:58 pm

Not sure if this one has been posted, but...
In response to craigslist ad I have for synthesizer:

Me: "What would you like to know about it?"

Him: "Umm, Does it sound like Van Halen?"

Me: "Umm, Yes?"

Him: "When can I see it!"
Not sure what he meant by that, I guess "Jump", but i've learned from craigslist in the past to just say yes to silly querys like that!

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by garranimal » Sat Aug 01, 2009 10:42 pm

I'm getting interesting comments all the time on my youtube vids.

"And nobody who owns a Matrix12 would buy a Andromeda because it sounds better... " (You can interpret this comment two different ways, but it seems unclear.)

"Synth programming is a very arcane art which maybe only 1000 people in the entire world can do with any precision and authority."

"Too bad - why are the guys, who have the money for such synths, unable to play a single melody or musical phrase?? :o/"
(I resemble this remark :D alas....I'm not a professional performer. But the comment seemed to generalize in a strange way.)

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by tekkentool » Sun Aug 02, 2009 1:36 am

mama. wrote:
tekkentool wrote:i don't know if this counts as it's not about a synth directly but whatever.

i had taken my microkorg into school to record some material in the studio there, the other students there in the music department seemed to like it, because it looked small and cute, but didn't sound it. there was this on chick there, an ugly as drummer, who asked what all the funny green and white words we're for, i told her "it's for programming it, on synthesizers you make the sounds rather than just play them" oversimplifying everything for her, to which she replied "so you understand all this"


"yes"

"you're stupid"
yes! hahahha wow! its especially that machine, i know more than a few people who have it and its pretty much frowned upon by all to know anything about the words or programming it. which drives me insane because its so basic, if you dont understand the microKORG you're pretty much hopeless synthwise.
i actually like it's interface. works for it's size, after a couple of hours of programming you don't even need to look at it anymore.

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by vin14 » Sun Aug 02, 2009 6:44 pm

That's absolutely brilliant, really enjoyed reading it!
Probably because I've met my share of guys like that.

[quote="TrondC"]At a party at my former flat a stereotypical metal-guy drunkenly asked to see my gear when the conversation went that way. His first reaction was "dude, are you rich or something?", refering to the mK, ESX and ER-1. that's just after he told me he spent 1200 USD on a guitar the other day. Then he asked me to play some of my music, and I told him I could, but it takes a while to set everything up as I was rearranging everything, and all cables and PSU's were disconnected, and his answer was "yeah that's so typical of you tehcno-people, too embarassed to show your music that you have to make up and excuse like that". So I decided to set up the Mk and ESX, as I was working on a new track. I hit play and he was like "dude, all you do is play the keyboard every once in a while, that's not 'real'.." he kept asking me to do some synth shreds on the mK, to which I said "i'm not trained or anything, I use the keyboard for simpler melodies", and he just laughed and said "that's a loosers answer". and just when I thought he was out of silly remarks, he suddely screamed out in his most shocked voice: "FLANGER!! THAT'S THE STUPIDEST EFFECT IN THE WHOLE WORLD!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST USE DISTORTION TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE A GUITAR INSTEAD? OR EVEN BETTER, SELL THIS c**p AND GET SOME REAL GEAR!!!", to which I asked what gear that would be: "JUST GET A f**k GUITAR MAN, WHO WANTS TO HEAR A f**k SYNTH ANYWAY"
He passed out on the sofa later, with his ehad next to the speakers of the cd-player, so I put on "Man Machine" on repeat until he woke up, vomited in the kitchen and then left. I also poured some dead beer in his lovely hair and some on his pants, you know where.

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by balma » Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:56 pm

garranimal wrote: "Synth programming is a very arcane art which maybe only 1000 people in the entire world can do with any precision and authority."



Uh???? it seems like he took that phrase from a D.O.S. old manual, and placed "synth programming" instead the original "compiler writing"
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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by XpanderXt » Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:53 pm

I was at a trade show and someone was asking about a product we had. He asked if it would have AES/EBU digital audio. I said no it has SP/DIF. He then said we should add AES/EBU because it sounds better.

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by rhino » Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:09 pm

(old fart church choir director):"Why are they so LOUD??"
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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by Primal Drive » Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:00 am

Here's a few more dumb comments I remember.

Many years ago friend of mine asked me to program a saxophone patch on his then-new Korg Poly61. I told him that it wouldn't sound exactly like a sax, to which he replied, "It's a synthesizer, man! Synths are supposed to be able to make any sound you want!"

A girlfriend I once had who was a little empty between the ears (but really hot) couldn't grasp the difference between organs, pianos and synths no matter how many times I tried explaining to her. At a party one night, she introduced me to a couple of her friends and mentioned that I was a musician. I'll never forget the look on their faces when she said, "He has five organs and sometimes he plays with all of them during a song..."
I miss her. :(

A few tidbits:

Long time guitar player friend, "You're not supposed to run a synth through FX boxes!"

A bass player I knew, "Moog modeled the Minimoog bass sound after a Rickenbacker."

An anal piano player, "Trying to play music on a Minimoog (model D) is like trying to make music on an old typewriter. Its sound is so lifeless and unexpressive."

And on the flipside, I'd like to mention something positive that really surprised me. Last Sunday I paid a visit to my mother to fix some hail damage on the roof of her house. I brought her a couple CDs of my music for her to listen to, one of which that had a few tribute Jan Hammer songs on it. Before I left, I asked her what she thought of my musical efforts. The first thing she said was, "You got the layered synth intro to Between the Sheets of Music wrong. Otherwise, it all sounds pretty good."

That left me a bit nonplused, since I considered that particular track one of my best attempts at getting everything to sound as close as possible. When I got home I compared my track to the original and sure enough, the second layered sound below the buzzy fifth was way off. :oops:

And BTW, my mother just turned 88 a few months ago.
And then she said, "What the f...?"

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by Gregor Samsa » Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:48 am

"A synthesizer isn't a REAL instrument because it makes the sound for you"
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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by Christopher Winkels » Wed Aug 05, 2009 3:22 am

Primal Drive wrote: Many years ago friend of mine asked me to program a saxophone patch on his then-new Korg Poly61. I told him that it wouldn't sound exactly like a sax, to which he replied, "It's a synthesizer, man! Synths are supposed to be able to make any sound you want!"
In fairness to him, he probably got that from reading about synthesizers in the general media. In the early days of synths reporters often confused being able to produce an infinite number of sounds with the ability to generate every sound. The distinction is, to the uninitiated, a minor one when in reality nothing could be further from the truth. That sort of fiction got perpetrated for years afterwards.

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Re: Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

Post by Primal Drive » Wed Aug 05, 2009 4:08 am

Christopher Winkels wrote:
Primal Drive wrote: Many years ago friend of mine asked me to program a saxophone patch on his then-new Korg Poly61. I told him that it wouldn't sound exactly like a sax, to which he replied, "It's a synthesizer, man! Synths are supposed to be able to make any sound you want!"
In fairness to him, he probably got that from reading about synthesizers in the general media. In the early days of synths reporters often confused being able to produce an infinite number of sounds with the ability to generate every sound. The distinction is, to the uninitiated, a minor one when in reality nothing could be further from the truth. That sort of fiction got perpetrated for years afterwards.
I agree with the whole misrepresentation/misunderstanding of the sonic capabilities of early analog synthesizers. I once had a book (circa 1974) that said (paraphrasing) "Everything from a cathedral organ, to a human choir, to the sound of a baby crying can be accurately reproduced by a synthesizer."

The unfortunate irony with my friend is that he had been a working keyboard player for almost 2 decades by the time he bought his first synth (the Poly 61) and had used various "borrowed" synths for several years. Apparently his own experience had taught him nothing.
And then she said, "What the f...?"

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