Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

[ryryoftokyo]

I once heard an employee at a music store talking about synths because some kid asked what they were..."Those things from the 80s that make fruity sounds that nobody uses anymore." Needless to say, I put that f**k in his place real quick.

"Can it make sound from Jump?!?!?"

"Oh dude...can you play like Jordan Rudess?" No...I can actually play my instrument.

"Synth players stole my gigs as a bassist in the 80s!" This one is my favorite...I usually burst out laughing....I was born in 1985, f**k....I wasn't stealing your gigs between the ages of 0 and 4.

"Dude! Do you like Motion City Soundtrack?!"

"Play in my prog rock band!"

The worst one came from when I was showing a friend's room mate my Moog and he asked what kind of band I was in...when I said "grindcore" he said: "You shouldn't be using a synth unless you're in an industrial or electronica band." I nearly killed him......

All the c**p I've heard about playing harsh noise is fun too.

[pflosi]

livegig with 303, jomox xbase 09, acidlab bassline, mfb 503 and re 201:

"can't u play michael jackson?"

[Syn303]

livegig with 303, jomox xbase 09, acidlab bassline, mfb 503 and re 201:

"can't u play michael jackson?"

did you tell 'em to 'beat it' then

[garranimal]

livegig with 303, jomox xbase 09, acidlab bassline, mfb 503 and re 201:

"can't u play michael jackson?"

did you tell 'em to 'beat it' then

This MJ craze right now. Makes one want to put a couple of bars from Beat It into the sequencer pattern just for giggles. Put it next to the Skynard pattern. Have it ready at all times =)

[pflosi]

[Ghost of Crow]

heres £2000.

[chrisrnps]

Well if they don't know about music production saying "chorus" to people would be rather confusing.

Whatever you do, don't press that button during the verse!

[nuketifromorbit]

Sometimes synth user's are guilty of the worse idiocy. Heres a gem from the harmony central user reviews regarding the DSI evolver.

here's where this review goes sour. this basically sounds like a computer synth to me. i bought it from musician's friend thinking if i didn't like it i'd send it back for the refund. well after 5 days of putzing around that's what i did. the distortion and delays sounds like cheesy plug-ins. it's way too clean sounding. the oscillators may be analog, however they are contolled by computers...they don't really have any charactor. i must admit the filter sounds really wonderful, but the rest of this sounds digital c**p. the wavetables are awful! i tell you what, those wavetables are some oingo boingo shiny sterile sounding little turds. fans of glitchcore or big evil four on the floor techno or new age, or you know, the list goes on...cheessy knucklehead stuff, this would be a good synth. i repeat, the "analog" circuitry is BURIED under an overbearing digital brain which forces it to lose all analog feeling. i even like a "little" bit of hiss on an output...but no, nothing, even when it's cranked. this thing would be good for a pro i guess. i personally hate that aspect. gimme some dirt, please. i live for burping out of tune noisy synth. i bet some of you readers will go buy one of these based on my statements. "no noise on the output? o great, i hate noisy outputs."

I especially like the complaints directed at the wavetables and the "computer synth" description. The latter makes me think of Pickles from Metalocalpyse complaining that Dethclock's current recordings sound like "microchips." Worse of all I can't figure out what kind of music this jack a*s makes, he insults everything from glitch to new age. What exactly is it that he does which represents the pinnacle of electronic music?

[computron]

This aspiring artisit i know was talking synths with me at a local event. He is using a roland v synth and described how much he liked it.When he asked me questions about some of my synths I began to say some of them are analog a little different then most modern synths

he proceeded to say "my synth has analog.yep it does all you got to do is hit the analog button and the synth turns into analog" I tried to correct his mistaken thoughts but he was so sure of that analog button on his end of all keyboards roland v synth workstation I just stoped talking to him.All though now when ever I talk synths with my good freind if its about a va or digital he will say does it have the analog button.you know roland workstations there the best because they have a button you just hit and it turn to analog.he will never let me forget what this guy said.

[Mr Knesh]

This aspiring artisit i know was talking synths with me at a local event. He is using a roland v synth and described how much he liked it.When he asked me questions about some of my synths I began to say some of them are analog a little different then most modern synths

he proceeded to say "my synth has analog.yep it does all you got to do is hit the analog button and the synth turns into analog" I tried to correct his mistaken thoughts but he was so sure of that analog button on his end of all keyboards roland v synth workstation I just stoped talking to him.All though now when ever I talk synths with my good freind if its about a va or digital he will say does it have the analog button.you know roland workstations there the best because they have a button you just hit and it turn to analog.he will never let me forget what this guy said.

"I was talking about synths with an aspiring artist at a local even. He said he loves his Roland V Synth. He asked me a few questions about the synths that I use and I let him know that they were analog. He replied 'my synth has analog. All you have to do is push the analog button and the synth becomes analog.' I tried to correct his mistake, but he was so adamant I felt inclined to cease conversation him.
Now whenever I talk to a good friend of mine about digital or VA Synthesizers he will ask 'Does it have the analog button? You know Roland workstations are the best because they have the analog button! You just press the button and they turn analog.' He will never let me forget what that guy said."


I am a douche, I know.... I blame the compass exam I just took.

[tyrannosaurus mark]

Mr Knesh, you're improving the internet one post at a time

[Mr Knesh]

I hurt inside

[NewAndImprov]

I was recording a band at my studio, and the drummer had a teenage raver kid son, who produced "phat beatz" in Fruity Loops. he brought his son to some of the sessions. My control room at the time had a Minimoog, an Arp Odyssey, an Arp Axxe, a Rhodes, a wall of MOTM Modular, and, amongst other things, a Roland MC-303. He zeros in on the MC (note, MC, not TB)303 and exclaims, "Dude, you got a 303! That is Phat" He also had the annoying tendency of calling every piece of processing gear a filter, "Dude, what does it sound like when you put the compressor filter on the drums."

[tekkentool]

I was recording a band at my studio, and the drummer had a teenage raver kid son, who produced "phat beatz" in Fruity Loops. he brought his son to some of the sessions. My control room at the time had a Minimoog, an Arp Odyssey, an Arp Axxe, a Rhodes, a wall of MOTM Modular, and, amongst other things, a Roland MC-303. He zeros in on the MC (note, MC, not TB)303 and exclaims, "Dude, you got a 303! That is Phat" He also had the annoying tendency of calling every piece of processing gear a filter, "Dude, what does it sound like when you put the compressor filter on the drums."

i'd be making sweet love to you're modular!

[Five]

"SOUNDS LIKE NINTENDO"