Dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say about synths

[atinyfox]

I had a co-worker tell me that synths aren't 'real instruments' and that people who use sequencers and arpeggiators are "cheating'. I later find out that he makes all his beats in fruity loops. I still don't understand what he thought he was doing whenever he was using that program.

[Ghost of Crow]

DX7 followed by a f**k £ sign and usually a few numerical hingies.
Tell them to f**k off and offer to burn the c**t on the spot for nothing. One day I manged to rid myself of one fetid f**k to a f**k mental case, to far gone to call a retard. It cost me f**k all but I had to carry the f**k to his car in front of the general public. Not all of them but at least two and thats 100% as many as is safe. Just do the same kids. (PS: Took me f**k years to discover the c**t was Broon not Black. That thrilled me at least a c**k stroke more.)

...ohh and anything that says blah
blah
blah blah




blahblah blah

~ signed; Origamo jacko.

PS: There are some really interesting posts in this topic.

[veer chasm]

Winner

[Mr Knesh]

About two years ago I was out garage sale-ing, my sister happened to be with me. My sister and this loud obnoxios guy who happened to be browsing through some of the things at the other end of the yard make eye contact....Turns out my sister knows the guy and they went to school together back in the day yadda yadda.
Somehow the subject of music comes up and my sister introduces me to this loud fellow, "my brother makes his own music too", I can recall being said as I walk towards the guy. "oh really!?!" he says in a very snide way.
He asks me what I use and I run down the list of gear. The guy boasts back "well I use fruity loops...its the best, theirs nothing better!"
Okay I mean I have no problem with people using fruity loops, but this guys attitude was just so shitty and condescending...and obviously he was taking himself way to seriously for some reason. And that was it!!
He turned his back on me and didnt even bother saying goodbye to either me or my sister. I think I may of angered him somehow for being a hardware user
WEIRD

I cant keep track of how many times Ive heard synths and samplers dissed by old school rockers with long hair and bad attitudes

I worked at guitar center for three years, so its interesting to chime in to a thread that is actively bashing me

I like the pain I guess...

This same exact thing happened to me. Shitty attitude, and really socially awkward music "producer and dj" using fruity loops to produce his beats. I can still hear the arrogance in his voice as he said "Yeah, I'm a producer. I make beats using FL STUDIO" and then he would ask for a free pair of headphones.

I would have to say that any discussion about midi was bar far the most annoying. I soon after developed a bad habit of prank calling other guitar centers and asking their best sales associate if they had any "midis" in stock. "You know man, I just need a little bit more of that M1D1, you get me?"

[tim gueguen]

Here's a Usenet oldy from 2000, along with my response:

Midis are nothing but synthesizers

I downloaded a 100 of midi tunes from artists like: John McLaughlin, Happy
the Man, Weather Report, Gentle Giant, Pat Methaney etc. When I played them
they were all composed of organ-like music. Does anyone know where I can get
tunes from bands like these that are really the songs they made?

Thats because a MIDI file consists only of note data for MIDI compatible
synthesizers. It contains no audio waves, mp3s etc, so of course it will
sound like whatever synth you play it with.

[pflosi]

^classic

another one:

bangin some keys on our minimoog D.

"So what can i do to it?"
"try that knob" (pointing to filter cutoff freq)
"nice. so all these knobs do something different?"

[veer chasm]

^classic

"try that knob" (pointing to filter cutoff freq)
"nice. so all these knobs do something different?"

Too funny. He's on to something,I would love to find an old beat up DX7 and just glue on a bunch of knobs that don't do anything.

[CuBulo]

friend after long time of wanting to buy a 707: "how many patches does it have?"

[XpanderXt]

not a synth thing but a friend on seeing the Apple IIe with 64K expansion for a total of 128K of RAM said "no body will ever write a program that uses 128K".

[Mr Knesh]

customer - "I need a midi controller. I have $100. I am going to be controlling vsts and a daw."
me - "here is an xboard 49 from emu, its has a lot of control and is on clearance so you are getting it for a great price."
customer - "No, I think I will get this CTK-496 instead."
me -

P.O.S.

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[Solderman]

Just remembered one my mother said recently, so I am obliged to reiterate that there's a distinct difference between stupidity and unfamiliarity:

I brought my Polivoks to my parent's house to show it to a friend who lives nearby. While showing it to them, I turned it on to play a few notes, commenting that it takes 15 to 20 minutes to warm up, and continued describing it by first saying:
"It takes a while to warm up and stay in tune, so I'll have to wait before playing it."

Mom pointed at the blinking LFO light and said "Does that blinking light go off when it's warmed up?"

[balma]

there's a guy who lives in Italy who came to Costa Rica during a couple of weeks, that called himself as the greatest trance producer ever, I swear you, that he introduced himself in that way, I do not need to mention the name

a italian friend of mine who was the host of this guy during those days, presented the super trance producer to me....

hello, bla bla bla... I asked him wich hardware he used, and he just limited himself to say "ROLAND" . Asked more about the gear, and he said "just Roland"...

the other guy told him: "you know, balma plays live act with only hardware, but he does not use any mixer along with the synthesizers..."

the super producer opened his eyes really wide, and said: what???? don't you use mixer? are U ignorant or what?
Please hear me well: stop to do what you're doing, you sinner, you are going nowhere without a mixer. how do you balance your sounds?, you can't play live without a mixer, since you don't have control over the music.

I tried to explain that I do not need it, and I do not have time to control a mixer,since I'm very busy doing the music on the synths.

But after saying that I do not use a mixer, any word from my mouth lost any credibility, I suddenly
became an indian from a third world tribe, and he just turned back and walked away with his black smelly leather jacket and two fake blondies that came with him.

Maybe I'm spamming, or I'm really wrong with my methods, but this guy was a huge j**k.... I still do not understand what's wrong with playing only the synths without a mixer...

[pflosi]

^classic

"try that knob" (pointing to filter cutoff freq)
"nice. so all these knobs do something different?"

Too funny. He's on to something,I would love to find an old beat up DX7 and just glue on a bunch of knobs that don't do anything.

[Synthaholic]

^classic

"try that knob" (pointing to filter cutoff freq)
"nice. so all these knobs do something different?"

Too funny. He's on to something,I would love to find an old beat up DX7 and just glue on a bunch of knobs that don't do anything.

Or label all the knobs "filter cutoff freq"

[veer chasm]

^classic

"try that knob" (pointing to filter cutoff freq)
"nice. so all these knobs do something different?"

Too funny. He's on to something,I would love to find an old beat up DX7 and just glue on a bunch of knobs that don't do anything.

Or label all the knobs "filter cutoff freq"

That would be AWESOME.