Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

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balma
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Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Post by balma » Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:10 pm

I'm sure you have found lots of them when getting your new synth or consulting the manual..... some of them are fun, unrealisitc, exagerated, orreally stupid. f**k were these guys thinking at?

From the Fizmo's manual, page 21, as a Note:


Note: Experienced synthesists will recognize FIZMO's familiar sound-programming tools

O'really! thanks for pointing that! :mrgreen:
Last edited by balma on Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by rhino » Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:51 pm

from a Casio VZ10m:

"Do not attempt to use this equipment underwater"

on a speaker cabinet:

"Genuine Simulated Walnut"
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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by schmidtc » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:43 pm

Arp 2600 Owner's manual:

“Don’t forget to TURN ON THE SYNTHESIZER. Often this is the reason why you get no sound out of it.”

Wasn't there something about penguins in a studio electronics manual?

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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by balma » Thu Feb 04, 2010 7:14 pm

schmidtc wrote:Arp 2600 Owner's manual:

“Don’t forget to TURN ON THE SYNTHESIZER. Often this is the reason why you get no sound out of it.”

Wasn't there something about penguins in a studio electronics manual?
can't believe that!

generally, that comes on the troubleshooting...

Problem Troubleshooting
No sound Turn the power on....

That's normal, but the warning "Don't forget to TURN ON THE SYNTHESIZER".... worthless!

btw Arp 2600's manual must be huge
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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by Esus » Thu Feb 04, 2010 7:39 pm

balma wrote:
schmidtc wrote:Arp 2600 Owner's manual:“Don’t forget to TURN ON THE SYNTHESIZER. Often this is the reason why you get no sound out of it.”

btw Arp 2600's manual must be huge
By contrast, the Synclavier 9600 Tapeless Studio had no factory user manual![thumbnail]http://www.500sound.com/buttlogo/sync9600ts.jpg[/thumbnail]

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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by balma » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:07 pm

"This is rocket science"
Command station manual, talking about the patch cords programming section....


"...is provided with a giant, huge memory of 256 mono and 128 stereo slots for storaging samples"

KORG ESX 1 manual, talking about the memory size of the Korg ESX1 sampler....



Is interesting to notice how some manuals show a lot enthusiasm for the product. Sometimes is amusing and makes the reading less boring, but in other cases there are some praising sentences that are truly ridiculous....

i think that the most strict and objective manuals come from Yamaha. And the worst ones. Manuals from Ensoniq are between the most clever I have read.
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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by Altitude » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:24 pm

"Default is the value selected by the composer overridden by your command." - Roland TR-707 Manual

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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by Phollop Willing PA » Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:59 pm

When editing a patch on the Korg MS 2000R, and I press enter, the screen says 'writting', two 't's.

Also when editing the Roland MC 505, you need to press 'exit' instead of 'enter'.

Maybe it's not as 'stupid' as some, but weirdness.
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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by Solderman » Fri Feb 05, 2010 9:39 pm

TB303 manual:

"Irrelevant indicators may light up regardless of the actual operations, but it is not the sign of the machine trouble."
"When the indicator has been lighting, it will put out and when it has not been lighting, it will light up."
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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Post by balma » Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:05 pm

As described on the MAIN FEATURES of the SAMPLER Electribe ES-1

"The analog style front panel allows to create sounds in the same way as on an analog synthesizer"

you wish dudes!!!!:lol:
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Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Post by maelstrom_808 » Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:14 am

In the Virus KC manual, halfway through the Mod Matrix/Soft Knob section it switches from English to German. First time I tried to reference this... :dontknow:

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Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Post by nathanscribe » Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:19 am

Not a synth, but the Biyang OTD-100 Tube Overdrive. Bad translation=joy:

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Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Post by maelstrom_808 » Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:33 am

"We will provide the warm service to you."

:shocked:

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Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Post by rhino » Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:46 am

Roland JD-800 manual:

When the internal memory battery gets weak, this message will appear: "battery low". Please note that by this time, your patch memory may already be lost.
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Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Post by Altitude » Sat Feb 06, 2010 11:46 am

lol, nathan..

After reading enough of these manuals I am sure there is a global conspiracy by some shady underground group of Japanese to English translators-turned-comedians to put out stuff like this.

Example in the same vein:

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