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Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:23 pm
by Trom69
Phollop Willing PA wrote:When editing a patch on the Korg MS 2000R, and I press enter, the screen says 'writting', two 't's.
It was corrected on the O.S. update version 1.0.1 (April, 2000). The current one is v. 1.0.7 (January, 2002).

The corrections go beyond the orthography (arp sync, MIDI timing and resolution, sound bleed between oscilators/vocoder chgannels, etc.). Check it out :!:

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:47 pm
by Sir Nose
Not stupid but made me laugh quite a bit:
From the new Moog Taurus 3 manual
CAUTION: Be careful.. Speaker damage, structural damage to buildings, or personal injury are
all possible using the Taurus 3 Bass Synthesizer at high volumes. With some amplification
systems, Taurus 3 sounds may cause loose objects to rattle, move across the floor or fall down.
Moog Music Inc. is not responsible for any consequential damage or injury associated with using
the Taurus 3 Bass Synthesizer.

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 9:29 pm
by TrondC
Sir Nose wrote:Not stupid but made me laugh quite a bit:
From the new Moog Taurus 3 manual
CAUTION: Be careful.. Speaker damage, structural damage to buildings, or personal injury are
all possible using the Taurus 3 Bass Synthesizer at high volumes. With some amplification
systems, Taurus 3 sounds may cause loose objects to rattle, move across the floor or fall down.
Moog Music Inc. is not responsible for any consequential damage or injury associated with using
the Taurus 3 Bass Synthesizer.
that's not a warning, it's a selling point! ;)

ond totally OT, but the Hotdogs AIDS got me thinking about this: http://www.engrish.com tons of fun :)

Re: Stupid or nonsense phrases from your synth's manuals

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:50 pm
by calyx93
Esus wrote:
balma wrote:
schmidtc wrote:Arp 2600 Owner's manual:“Don’t forget to TURN ON THE SYNTHESIZER. Often this is the reason why you get no sound out of it.”

btw Arp 2600's manual must be huge
By contrast, the Synclavier 9600 Tapeless Studio had no factory user manual![thumbnail]http://www.500sound.com/buttlogo/sync9600ts.jpg[/thumbnail]
Hmm - that's odd, because I've used the II, 3200 and 6400 systems, and they all had manuals. Full Sail (back in '90-'91) had lots of bound documentation for these things - including the Tapless Studio.

For those that don't know - Full Sail was THE audio engineering school to go to if you wanted to learn and use these systems. There may have been others, but they probably had the most systems under one roof and featured it as part of their curriculum.

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:00 pm
by drsynth
Blofeld manual...

"Don't leave your Blofeld beside children, mothers-in-law or pets. This could lead to critical interactions."

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 6:53 pm
by felis
The Access Virus manual sometimes lapses into German. It might not be stupid or nonsense, but I don't understand it.

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:15 pm
by gmeredith
from a Casio VZ10m:

"Do not attempt to use this equipment underwater"
Damn - and I was really looking forward to doing some scuba diving with it!

Graham

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:35 pm
by balma
Roland MC 505 manual:

The new family of grooveboxes from Roland emulates perfectly the sound of its famous TR series!"

I liked this, on the Fizmo manual, is not stupid at all:


LIFE IN THE MIDI WORLD:

MIDI is a beatiful and simple way of communication between electronical musical instruments, due to the cleverness of its architectcs

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 2:52 pm
by KillerSynth
Altitude wrote:lol, nathan..

After reading enough of these manuals I am sure there is a global conspiracy by some shady underground group of Japanese to English translators-turned-comedians to put out stuff like this.

Example in the same vein:

Image
sorry, this isn't a Japanese but Chinese :mrgreen:

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 4:20 am
by sqweebking
Not a manual, but it made me chuckle :-)
Image

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 6:07 pm
by Synthprophet
I don't remember if this one appears in all Roland manuals, however I was just reading the manual for the AX-Synth and came across this one under 'Additional precautions':
"To avoid disturbing you neighbours, try to keep the AX-Synth's volume at reasonable levels. You may prefer to use headphones, so you do not need to be concerned about those around you (especially when it is late at night)"
So Roland will also act as you mother if you should have forgotten what she said ;)

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:26 pm
by Roby31
drsynth wrote:Blofeld manual...

"Don't leave your Blofeld beside children, mothers-in-law or pets. This could lead to critical interactions."
This is not stupid, it's humour. It is probably in every Waldorf manual (the uQ's has the same statement), as like the Access manuals say "don't hide the device in the oven, in case you forget and later cook it"

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:57 am
by polyklinik
Multi timbral or Multi timberal?

Image

Re: Stupid or nonsense sentences from your synth's manuals

Posted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 11:40 pm
by Belaya
@ sqweebking

:lol: